Healing and Being Set Free (Christine’s story)

Written by Christine

My journey of healing has been a long and difficult one, but I'm very happy to share that I have received almost complete healing, with major healing done in my late thirties, and only a bit of residual healing left to be done. 

This healing has brought many changes in my life. From being abused both physically and verbally by my mother, to healing of inner hurts, and finally forgiving and reconciling with her. From avoiding much contact with people out of fear and coping with fantasy (reading fiction books and watching movies) to being set free from fear, and ready to take risks in relationships. From a heart that was "frozen" or hardened that cannot feel much to a heart that is soft, healed and can feel different emotions. Like the song "Let It Go" from the the movie "Frozen", this involved letting go of hurtful memories as God brought healing to them, and forgiving the people who have hurt me. 

For me, my spiritual journey has been very closely linked with my journey of healing. From not knowing God, to seeking Him through learning about different religions, to praying a simple prayer ("God, if you are real, help me to know you" ) and God answering that prayer. This later led to me accepting Jesus into my life, and learning how to live a life that is pleasing to Him.

The process was gradual, but intensified more towards the end. How? Through different people that God has put in my life - church counselor, cell group members, spiritual mothers, Elijah House (inner healing ministry),  healing seminar and conferences. Some of these people have journeyed with me for a number of years, and some only for a few hours. God has also worked directly in me as I lie down in my bed alone at night - involving a lot of crying, and replay of past memories.  

I believe that God desires to heal the broken-hearted because He is a loving and compassionate God. He works in mysterious and various ways for different individuals. What is important for a trauma survivor seeking healing is - to be open to pursue healing, to patiently endure the pain of healing process, and not to give up. The opposite is when you lie to yourself, be in denial, give excuses, and run away from things that will help; then healing takes a longer time. 

I can say from my own experience, it is worth it - to go through all the 'healing work' via talk therapy (counseling), etc. Because in the end, I am now set free; free from the past. Like a prisoner set free from chains of hurts, fear and shame, I am now set free and no longer being burdened and tortured by these heavy chains. I can now walk towards the destiny that God has planned for me, which is a good one because He has a good plan and purpose for me.